There’s a new agent coming to NCIS. It’s been teased for quite a while now that a character named Tess Monroe would be making her way to the hit CBS drama. Well, fans can now put a face to a name.
On Wednesday, it was announced that 24 veteran Sarah Clarke will play FBI Special Agent Tess Monroe. So far, she is slated for the final two episodes of Season 13, but there is potential for her to become a series regular in Season 14.
“We feel so fortunate to have Sarah Clarke joining us to play Tess,” NCIS showrunner Gary Glasberg said in a statement. “I’ve been a fan of hers going back to 24 and, more recently, Bosch. She’s a gifted actress, a total pro and we can’t wait to introduce her to our NCIS family and have some fun.”
Per TVLine, here is the description of Clarke’s new character: “Tess is a quick-witted, tough and shrewd agent who recently transferred to D.C. from New York City. A multiple divorcée who’s as sexy as she is strong, Tess has no kids, so she views her fellow agents as family. Beneath a no-nonsense shell, Tess has a big heart. She believes in honor and justice and doing what’s right. And she’ll fight to protect those values, and her team, with fierce determination and a tinge of sarcasm along the way.”
Hmm… does that sound like an already familiar and beloved NCIS character? Is anyone else getting Gibbs vibes from that description? He too has been divorced several times (married four times, divorced three), is sexy and strong, has a big heart, believes in getting justice, has a great sense of sarcasm and sees his team as family.
This could go either of two ways. There’s a great chance that Gibbs and Tess will not get along, because, well, he usually doesn’t like new agents infiltrating his team. Also, they could easily butt heads since they have so much in common. On the other hand, they just might click and become best friends due to all of their similarities. Furthermore, now that Michael Weatherly is exiting the series as Tony DiNozzo, there will be even more pressure for Tess to perform well — from both Gibbs and the fans.
All I know is that it will definitely be interesting to see how she fits in with Gibbs and his close-knit team, and if viewers will welcome her with open arms.
Rihanna is unique in the current celebrity ecosystem because she actually doesn’t give a shit and is cool. This is especially amazing because now every celebrity gives a shit so much and is not cool, and you can see all of their overweening effort and faux nonchalance and sad love of charity 24 hours a day on social media. They all have the personality of 9-year-old vaudevillians who ballroom dance on the Orpheum Circuit. Even Johnny Depp! What a disappointment!
But Rihanna doesn’t immolate herself on, like, the fires of authority. She just doesn’t. For example, maybe you want to give Rihanna an award for her contributions to the fashion community. Guess what? She will wear no clothes to accept that award. LOL (cool)! Maybe you are Manolo Blahnik and you ask Rihanna to design a pair of boots. She’ll just design a pair of jeans that are also boots. Everyone wants her to get with Drake? She makes it clear that Drake is a huge nerd! I mean, she just named her (excellent, original, and creative) album Anti. She gets it and she’s the only one.
From the above list, a question naturally occurs — what does Rihanna eat the whole day? And can I eat that as well? And the answer is, for sure! Just Google it. It only takes one second.
Preparation:
It took me approximately one second to figure out what Rihanna eats all day. I just Googled the words “Rihanna” and “diet.” From what I could gather, Rihanna does a combination of several things that all sound really amazing. Sometimes she eats at old-school Italian red-sauce joints. (When she’s in L.A., she eats at Giorgio Baldi six times a week. Vogue termed it “her kitchen.”) Sometimes she has her private chef cook for her. Sometimes, she just drinks beer. Sometimes, perhaps when feeling particularly virtuous, she goes on something called the 5-Factor Diet.
Basically, the first part of this plan sounds like bliss. The only thing that is giving me any pause at all is this 5-Factor Diet, because I don’t know what the factors are.
Days 1 and 2
In 2008, Fabulous magazine asked Rihanna about her daily diet. This is what she said in return: “Carbs are the enemy but if I go three days without them, I start getting weak. If my trainer had her way, I’d eat small meals every three hours, but I sometimes only eat once or twice a day. I have egg whites and pineapple for breakfast with hot water and lemon. For lunch I have fish and potatoes. I hate vegetables but I make myself eat them. For dinner I have fish again.”
This quotation, though slightly unwieldy, seemed as good a place as any to start my Rihanna diet. I decided to skip breakfast (I’m allergic to eggs and pineapple, also Rihanna only eats one or two meals a day, so whatever) and have fish and potatoes for lunch. Instead of having fish and potatoes again, however, I go to Emilio’s Ballato, on Houston Street, which is one of Rihanna’s favorite restaurants. I have the meatballs and spaghetti, both of which are perfection and make me feel like Frank Sinatra. At Giorgio Baldi, Rihanna once ordered three different half-orders of pasta for a meal. She is my kind of person.
The next day I head to Da Silvano for dinner, which is another one of Rihanna’s favorite pasta joints when she happens to be in New York City. While my dinner companion is in the bathroom and I start eating his seafood spaghetti (which is SO DELICIOUS), I scroll through a slide show of Rihanna’s outfits on my phone. It is actually amazing how many trends she started. She did everything first — sneakers, pretending a coat is a dress, bras, no bras, etc., etc. People wildly copy her and don’t give her credit. Including me! I actually have one item of clothing in common with Rihanna: We both have a sweatshirt that says “School Kills” on it. It’s my favorite sweatshirt because school really does kill.
Day 3
Today I decide to eat the food Rihanna’s personal chef, Debbie Solomon, cooks for her. I have a caprese salad for lunch (mine was delicious, although not nearly as artfully assembled as this one) and later I make curried chicken — a recipe that Chef Debbie shared on the TV show The Doctors. I LOVE The Doctors. If you haven’t seen The Doctors, it stars these really good-looking, nice doctors who are worried about society’s health. The main doctor is so handsome that, to quote Jane Austen, “none but Eagles could look him in the face.” Watch that show!
Anyway, Chef Debbie’s curried chicken has a lot of ingredients, but ends up producing the most flavorful, non-dry chicken I have ever tasted. It totally doesn’t taste like diet food even though it mostly consists of spices that have no calories. Chef Debbie is ridiculously talented and needs to release a cookbook ASAP because I would buy it.
I also watch Napoleon Dynamite again, which is reputed to be Rihanna’s favorite movie. It is so funny when Napoleon trails his action figure outside the bus.
Days 4 and 5
After a brief respite from my Rihanna diet because I got a sinus infection, I decide to attempt Harley Pasternak’s 5-Factor Diet.
Pasternak’s nutritional philosophy is simple. Eat five times a day. Have all those meals contain five ingredients. Exercise 25 minutes five days a week. Hence the number five in the title. (But wherefore the “factors”?)
Harley Pasternak has a very breezy, fun writing style, much like Boris Pasternak. I think one of the biggest differences between the two is that Harley loves celebrities and will drop their names as blithely as a socially ambitious mother at a suburban country club. Here is an example:
“When I work with Kanye West, for instance, he likes to eat the same thing for breakfast on most days … Alicia Keys on the other hand, loves to cook … she enjoys variety in her diet.”
Still, I don’t hold it against him. I’m glad to know.
Another thing about the 5-Factor Diet is that you can just TELL the diet was written by a dude. Why? Because many of the recipes include beef jerky and like, putting protein powder in places it has historically never been. Dudes love that stuff. There is a particularly terrifying recipe that combines a rice cake, beef jerky, cottage cheese, and stewed apples. It’s a snack. At the end of the recipe there is an addendum marked NOTE (“The saltiness of the turkey jerky balances with the sweetness of the apples”), which I wish I had never read.
Since I’m allergic to eggs (and most of the breakfasts involve eggs in some shape or form) I have the protein powder in oatmeal. (It’s supposed to be in Cream of Wheat, but my grocery store doesn’t have Cream of Wheat. I hate New York. My grocery store probably thinks everyone in New York has a fake gluten allergy.) Guess what? Protein powder in oatmeal is inedible. Only two hours later I’m starving because I could barely eat it. For a snack, I have Harley’s “bruschetta,” i.e., crackers with cheese and tomato melted on them and dusted with “Italian seasoning.” I had a tuna sandwich for lunch (without mayo, difficult), salmon sashimi for a snack, and stuck to fish and rice for dinner. I did not try jerky even though I bought it.
Then I went to exercise. The 5-Factor Diet has a 25-minute workout included in it, which features a mix of cardio, abs, and strength training. The best part was that Rihanna loves Linkin Park and always listens to them when she exercises. Luckily, I also LOVE Linkin Park, so we have that in common.
Linkin Park is so awesome because they are true nihilists. They literally hate the people they dated so much it’s crazy, which is refreshing in this disgustingly civil age. In fact, when I was working at huffingtonpost.com/college, and I was aggregating stories about the Penn State Scandal, I played the Linkin Park song “BURN IT DOWN” every single time I watched a YouTube video of some kid tremulously defending the school’s commitment to football, which meant I listened to “BURN IT DOWN” 57 times a day. I wanted to embed a MIDI file of it into every story about Penn State, but I didn’t. If I were Rihanna, I probably would have.
Also, the video for “BURN IT DOWN” is incredible!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t stop watching it. Everyone burns in it.
Teen Mom 2’s Jenelle Evans is going back to court, but not for a custody battle this time.
Radar Online is reporting that court papers say Evans has been subpoenaed to testify against her ex-fiancé, Nathan Griffith, in his court case for theft. The case was previously delayed, and during the recess, Evans received papers from the sheriff ordering her to testify against Griffith.
According to the site, Evans will have to appear in court on April 4, along with her current boyfriend, David Eason, who has also been ordered to testify against Griffith.
The case originated when Evans accused Griffith of taking her car and more than $1,000 worth of belongings inside it. She pressed charges against Griffith, resulting in a warrant being issued for his arrest. He turned himself in to police on Feb. 3.
This isn’t the only legal drama between the two ex-lovers. The two are currently engaged in a custody battle over their 18-month-old son, Kaiser.
“It’s just a lot of butting heads right now,” Evans told People magazine about the case. “I think he’s really not putting all personal issues aside — he’s not making it just about Kaiser.”
She also says Griffith doesn’t get along with her current boyfriend.
“I think he’s really jealous of David,” Evans said. “He’s claiming I’m letting Kaiser called David ‘Dada,’ but Kaiser knows David by ‘David’ — I would never do that to Kaiser and I would never do that to Nathan because that’s unfair.”
She continued, “Every time we talk, he doesn’t even really ask about Kaiser. He just asks how I’m doing and what I’m up to lately… I don’t think he is sure of his current relationship, or he hasn’t let go [of me] yet.”
Red Gowns are very attractive at any events. In the red carpet show, it’s not difficult to find the red prom gowns. With these sexy and gorgeous prom wears, you will become more charming. Today, let’s discuss stunning red prom dresses 2016 in vogue.
If you want to be a queen at your prom parties, such cheap prom dresses uk will be perfect for your wonderful party time. Having red prom gowns, you can release your energy without any scruples. Hot dress mix with your hot dance, it was definitely an unforgettable experience. Dancing to the music, graceful dance will make you become the heroine at your special night.
A great and easy way to make your prom dress a bit more edgy is by adding a leather jacket. I have quite a few biker jackets in my own wardrobe and it’s a great way to transform something ‘pretty’ to ‘edgy’
There are no rules when it comes to pairing shoes with a LBD, however I find a lot of girls opt for black shoes to be safe. A great way to make your legs look a mile long is by pairing your little black dress with a nude point.
If you are heading a function after work, or simply time poor and down have time to do your hair and make up then why not add a bold lip. This is my ‘go to’ make up look. When I am running late, my hair is dirty and I look tired then a bright red lip is a great way to instantly look fresh and polished. To make your lips really stand out I would then keep everything simple and go for black shoes, jacket and bag along with your black dress.
